Cousin Kevin

We’re on our own, cousin
All alone, cousin
Let’s think of a game to play
Now the grown-ups have all gone away
You won’t be much fun
Being blind, deaf and dumb
But I’ve no one to play with today
Do you know how to play hide-and-seek?
To find me it would take you a week
But tied to that chair
You won’t go anywhere
There’s a lot I can do with a freak

How would you feel if I
Turned on the bath
Ducked your head under
And started to laugh?
What would you do if I shut you outside
To stand in the rain
And catch cold so you died?

I’m the school bully
The classroom cheat
The nastiest play friend
You ever could meet
I’ll stick pins in your fingers
And tread on your feet

We’re on our own, cousin
All alone, cousin
Let’s think of a game to play
Now the grown-ups have all gone away
You won’t be much fun
Being blind, deaf and dumb
But I’ve no one to play with today
Do you know how to play hide-and-seek?
To find me it would take you a week
But tied to that chair
You won’t go anywhere
There’s a lot I can do with a freak

Maybe a cigarette burn on your arm
Would change your expression
To one of alarm
I’ll drag you around by a lock of your hair
Or give you a push
At the top of the stairs

I’m the school bully
The classroom cheat
The nastiest play friend
You ever could meet
I’ll put glass in your dinner
And spikes in your seat